Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Get Ret...oops Started

Standing there looking stupid in the toy isle for half an hour waiting for "assistance" is not cool.

The wife and I had this terrific idea to get bicycles to ride together. So we jump in the truck and go to our one stop shop, "The World".

We are staring at the bikes on the ceiling for about 15 minutes, going blind trying to see the prices and styles....... youre going to get a two-for here.......products displayed on the ceiling or shelfs so high that you need artificial elevation of some sort to see their price/description, are not cool........before I make use of a step ladder I found in the hardware isle.

Finally, the wife asks for assistance at the paint counter after we become frustrated standing there looking stupid staring at the ceiling. They call someone in toys, and tell us to stand by the bike display, and wait.

(Cue Jeopary music)

15 minutes later, I am ticked off and I start pulling down a bike my wife likes by myself. While Im at it, I help another pissed off woman take a bicycle down for her daughter. I then take a bicycle down for myself. The whole time, the "assistance in toys" is no where to be found.

So, the bike I take down for myself, has no price tag on it. Great. Luckily, there is a warehouse ladder down the isle, and I oblige myself to pull it over and I proceed up the ladder to grab the price sticker off an identical bike to mine, but one level higher on the rack.

Im at the top of the ladder reaching for a price, and here comes a FEMALE employee walking by.

Robust Female Employee "Did you need some help?"
Me- "No I got it"
Robust Female Employee- "You cant be up there sir"
The wife and I in unison- "Weve been waiting here 15 minutes for someone and nobody came"

To difuse the situation, I go down the ladder, with steam surely pooring out of my ears.

Robust Female Employee-"What did you need help with"
Me- "There is no price on this bike, and I was trying to either get the price off that bike or pull that bike down."

So the robust female employee gives me the price sticker from the rack.

Later.....

The wife "I should have punched her in the eye, stupid b****"
Me "That probably would have been funny"
The wife "I dont know why they even bothered sending her over, its not like shed be able to get the bike down or anything"
Me- "Yeah, wed probably have to wait another half hour for a guy to come over"

Tips-
1. If youre going to have "departments" have somebody who is competent staffed in the department. Dont have someone who doesnt know the products, or isnt physically capable of the tasks of the department. I dont care what federal law states, women CANT do anything a man can, and when youre using up my time in proof of this point, Im going to get ticked.

2. Your department should have more then 1 person, at all times, on staff. The toy department should not have 1 person, who is conveniently on break, or talking to Susie in housewares in the smoking area, while people are scaling the shelving trying to get "Mr. Bucket" themselves.

3. Ive never worked in retail, but Im just going to go out on a limb here and guess that products sell a whole lot better when customers can SEE the pricing and description and also have access to the product.


While we are on the subject of bicycles...

Psychos who ride bicycles down the highway, or major streets and boulevards, either backwards, or dead in the middle of the street with no concern of the motor vehicle traffic around them.

There are few things that tick me off as much as going down a major road, that happens to be two lanes, jam packed with traffic so you cant pass, and have some moron in spandex pedaling down the middle of your lane at the leisurely pace of 5 miles an hour. What the hell?

Or, even worse, the same traffic condition, but now this stupid idiot is coming AGAINST traffic. Ive determined they must be graduate students who are writing a paper on the number of cars they can pass backwards before someone just reaches out of their window and clotheslines their ass. Seriously, I dont even think a person can physically consume enough alchohol to do something that screwed up.

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